The Lighter Side of Finland
The world’s funniest and most entertaining Finnish guidebook: culture, people, places and etiquette
Russell Snyder
ISBN 978-952-5901-54-2(EPUB)
Copyright Russell Snyder and Klaava Media
March 2013
Publisher: Klaava Media / Andalys Ltd
www.klaava.com
book@klaava.com
Contents
Foreword
Finland Boiled Down
History Highlights
An Economy Story
Supervising Chemicals
Business, Finnish Style
The Kivinen Family
Trees, Trees and More Trees
What Is Everyman’s Right?
Being Good Sports
Summer Movement
Winter Movement
The Society of Saunas
Helsinki Confidential
The Bike Ride
Karelian Seurasaari
The Art of Being Transported
Cities and Towns beyond Helsinki
Oh Land
Go North
A Break
Going Fishing
Finnish Food For Thought
Finns and Firewater
Finnish Wordcrafters
The Finnish Way of Learning
Take a Holiday
The Longest Day
It’s Only Politics
Music to Finnish Ears
Your Festival or My Festival?
Visiting the Neighbor
Four Wheel Finland
Finland's World of Heritage
The Northern Superstar
Learn Finnish in a Few Minutes
The Author
Foreword
After 30 years of living in Finland, I've collected a huge amount of experiences. Fortunately, most have been more or less on the positive side. Of course, there have been a few unpleasant ones, and some that I'm still unsure about. But that's to be expected anywhere.
"Why did you come here?" I've been asked hundreds of thousands of times...or so it seems. In truth, I didn't have any special reason for coming to Finland. I didn't come for a girlfriend, nor to discover my roots, nor to do research on Finno-Ugric languages, nor for a special professional opportunity. I was just curious. Plus, I loved the Finnish countryside, appreciated the cities and towns, and most important, liked the Finnish people.
Initially, I had only planned to stay one year. But there was always something I wanted to do, someplace I wanted see, and someone I wanted to meet. Then one day, I woke up and realized that 30 years had passed. I had traveled around the country, studied, had several careers, got married, had kids, got divorced, and learned to tolerate salmiakki candies. In other words, I was "stuck" here...but there are far worse places to be stuck.
When abroad I tend to brag about the spectacular Finnish nature, the cleantech know-how, the excellent education system, the emphasis on good design, as well as the friendly mosquitoes in summer and the deadly cold in winter...
All in all, I'm glad I moved to Finland. Of course, I might say the same thing about Sweden or Costa Rica if I had decided to move there. But let's not speculate.
Information for this book was obtained by having lively discussions in pubs, by listening to gossip in saunas, and by hearing small talk at receptions. These texts are based on facts...and some of them are even true.
Finally, I'd like to mention that Finland has been recognized by the media as one of the best countries to live in. Moreover, several international organizations have found Finns to be among the happiest people on earth. So, in spite of how they look when fighting crowds on the morning metro, walking through a blinding snowstorm, paying high prices at the supermarket, waiting for service at the restaurant, or complaining about a new tax...they are smiling to themselves thinking: Living in Finland is like winning the Lottery!
Finland Boiled Down
Geography
Finland is 1,160 km long, 540 km wide and has a total area of 338,135 square kilometers, making it one of the largest countries in Europe. There are 5.4 million residents, so there is plenty of room. However, it seems most of the people prefer to live very close each other, and then not say "Hello."
There are approximately 198,439 lakes but I'm not sure how many ponds are counted as lakes. After a rain, I sometimes consider the puddle in our courtyard a lake. 70% of the country is forested, yet Christmas trees are expensive. 10% is covered with water, although after the ice melts in spring that figure might be more like 50%.
There are 100,000 islands off the coast of Finland (Europe's largest archipelago), each one a real paradise, except for the poisonous snakes, the disease carrying ticks and the man-eating flies.
Type of State
Republic with democratic parliamentary elections every four years. The MP's speeches may be boring to listen to while in session - nevertheless, they make up for it by getting into interesting and entertaining scandals which Finns love to read about in the evening papers.
Head of State
President, elected for a term of six years. The president's power has been greatly reduced in the last years, however, he still gets VIP treatment wherever he goes...no waiting in queues, polite reporters, and service with a smile.
Government
A coalition. The party with the largest share of votes gets the prime minister position. The other minister positions are given out by the percentage of votes and the best argument.
Languages
Finnish 93%, Swedish 6%, Sami speakers 1720, and a large number of people who don't speak to strangers.
Religions
The official religions are Lutheran (over 70%), Orthodox (under 2%). Various other Christian religions, as well as Muslims, Jews, Hindus and every other major religion are represented here. Furthermore, Atheists and Agnostics make up significant numbers in Finland. Then again, 10% believe the world owes them a living, 50 % believe their neighbors are cheating on income tax, and 55% believe the Finnish makkara (sausage) is a blessing.
Climate
Rather unpredictable, so you should be prepared for sun, rain, hail, sleet, fog, snow, heavy winds, and mini tornados...and that's just the summer.
Education
World class and always at the top in global comparisons. Although I know plenty of PhDs who lack common sense. There are over 1000 public libraries in Finland, however, it would be nice if they were open when people were not working.
Crime
The crime rate is low and Finland is considered a safe country for both men and women. So don't take the yellow press too seriously, or you'd be afraid to go outdoors.
Tipping
This custom is not expected in Finland but for truly outstanding service, you may want to leave a bit extra in a restaurant, or round off the taxi fare. And if you really get outstanding service, let people know about this happy occasion.
Minorities
Swedish-speaking Finns make up around 6% of the population. There are 4500 Samis and 6000 Romanies and a rapidly growing amount of foreign residents. Other minorities include Finns who don't like saunas, men who love chatting about nothing for hours, women who have enough shoes, people who adore November, and teenagers who think their parents are cool.
History Highlights
9000 B.C.
The ice melted and the first settlers arrived. Archeologists know this because they found stone weights, antler carvings and stone tools which were either important artifacts, or just stuff that these ancient people were throwing away.
Around 80 Stone Age rock paintings have been discovered in Finland. Most depict human figures, elk, boats and handprints. Historians have been extremely excited about these finds. But I'm not impressed with the artists' compositions, use of colors, brush strokes or perspective. Mind you, they're better than some of the art exhibitions I've seen lately.
3000 B.C.
Finno-Ugric ancestors came west from the Ural Mountains. The majority of them, who liked goulash and exotic music, continued on to Hungary. Those who liked Karelian stew and melancholy music moved to Finland. Those who had problems with taxes moved to Florida.
Others, from the Baltic or Nordic regions, wandered into Finland because there were great hunting and fishing opportunities, or they were banished from their own countries, or they just got lost.
1155
The Swedes came over to Finland on crusades and basically started taking over the place. The Pope confirmed Sweden's title over the territory in 1216. The Swedes built roads, castles, fortresses, and set up industries. Finns worked on Swedish owned land, served in the Swedish army and listened to a lots of boring Swedish speeches.
Sweden had a great impact on Finland, and even today Finns happily eat meatballs, sing Swedish drinking songs and are obsessed with being on time. The Finns, on the other hand, taught the Swedes to appreciate the sauna, but it's still difficult to find a proper one over in Sweden.
13th Century
Turku was founded as the administrative capital of Finland. In 1640, Finland's first university was established there, and students learned to complain about the cafeteria food in Latin.
18th Century
Sveaborg (Suomenlinna) fortress was built. It required tremendous effort, but the huge, impressive stronghold was finally completed and ready to repel any foolhardy attackers. Unfortunately, it didn't stop the Russians, but years later, it made the list of UNESCO world treasures.
1809
After many wars, battles, skirmishes, hand gestures and name calling, Russia finally defeated Sweden and took control of Finland. The capital was moved to Helsinki, and Finland was made an autonomous Grand Duchy within the Russian empire. Finland was allowed to have its own senate, post office, customs office, currency, railroads and melancholy music. Finnish became an official language along with Swedish, so boring speeches could be made in two languages.
1881
Eras of oppression under Czar Alexander III and later under Nicholas II. Russia put restrictions on Finland's autonomy in a policy known as Russification. Artists, writers and musicians noticed that using independence or freedom as themes in their work guaranteed success. There was great unrest in Finland during this time. Governor General Bobrikov was assassinated, strikes were called and women were given the right to vote.
1906
Finland became the first country in Europe to give women the right to vote, after which they immediately demanded the right to ask men to dance.
1914
World War I - Russia didn't do very well in this war. If fact they were losing. Then, in 1917, they had a revolution. And subsequently another one in which the Bolsheviks seized power. Finland had the nerve to declare independence, and Soviet Russia recognized them, hoping Finland would join in their political experiment. But Finland said, "No thanks and so long," and appointed a king, Friedrich Karl of Hesse. However, since Germany lost the war, F.K. resigned after just three months, though his crown and throne still exist. Finland decided a president might be a better choice.
1918
Civil war. The Socialist "Reds" had their hearts set on building a socialist paradise together with the Soviet neighbors, so they staged a coup. The government "White" forces fled the capital and civil war broke out. It was a devastation conflict. After a short but cruel struggle, the White forces, under the command of General Mannerheim, were victorious. The price of the conflict was high: 30,000 dead, numerous executions and mistrust that has lasted for years (and still continues in a few neighborhoods).
1919
The parliament adopted a republic form of government, and the president was given substantial powers, including the right to make longwinded speeches. The new republic faced many challenges including the great depression, fascist movements, difficult farming conditions and a sometimes unpredictable neighbor. In the face of these difficulties, Finland managed to improve the economy, increase exports, excel in many sports, introduce the world to Finnish design and invent their own version of the tango.
1939
Another war or two. The Soviet Union and the Germany secretly signed a pact that effectively divided Europe up between the two powers. According to the agreement, Finland fell under the jurisdiction of the Soviets. "Hey Finland, we are going to put a few military bases in your country," said the Soviets. Finland's relay was, "No way!" So the Soviet Union sent in a large, well equipped army to teach Finland a lesson. They weren't prepared for the coldest winter in years. The Soviets were stunned by the fierce Finnish soldiers dress in white (Finnish design, of course), donning skies and maneuvering with prowess through the snowy forests.
No, Finland didn't win, but they came in an impressive second, and were able to keep their sovereignty by signing an interim peace treaty in 1940.
1941
The Continuation War. When Germany turned against the Soviet Union, Finland became a limited ally with Germany to get support for the war against its eastern neighbor. This was known as the Continuation War, which lasted from 1941 to 1944. Finland fought bravely, but in the end there were simply too many Soviet troops with too much military equipment.
Finland was forced to sign an unfavorable treaty to save its hide. It had to forcibly remove the German troops (who didn't want to leave), it had to cede Petsamo in the north and large areas of Karelia, pay a huge amount of reparations and allow the Soviet elite to shop at Stockmann department store.
1944
With legendary effort, the Finns chased the remaining 200,000 German troops from Lapland, evacuated 450,000 Karelians and resettled them, and started building up industries in order to pay reparations Altogether, 90,000 Finnish men lost their lives. Many more suffered physical wounds and psychological trauma from those terrible years. Yet, many would remember those days as a time when everybody put aside their differences and worked together to survive.
Some say Finns have lost that fighting spirit, but they are mistaken. Just look at some of the more "adventurous" bars on Saturday night, and you'll see it's still there. Although, you might want to observe it from a safe distance.
1947
Finland signed the Paris Treaty with the Allies, in which there were a lot of legal sounding clauses that just meant Finland should behave itself in the future and everybody can be friends.
1948
Finland signed the Treaty of Friendship, Cooperation and Mutual Assistance with the Soviet Union. This basically meant that anytime the Soviet Union wanted, it could find an excuse for a "friendly" visit with the Red Army. President Paasikivi made it a priority to have a good relationship with the west, and not do anything to upset the sensitive Soviets. Sort of like walking a tightrope in the circus.
1952
Finland paid off its reparations in full. The Olympic Games held in Helsinki were a big success. But most significant: Miss Finland, Armi Kuusela, was crowned Miss Universe. Finns drank their first Coca Colas to celebrate.
1955
Finland joined both the United Nations and the Nordic Council where they were heartily welcomed because everybody knows that Finns are polite listeners.
1956
Urho Kekkonen became president and basically continued Paasikivi's policies, then added some of his own. He liked being president so much, he managed to stay in office for a record 25 years, although some suspect he wasn't quite with it the last couple of years. He was a legendary diplomat who found solutions to difficult problems by taking politicians to his sauna for undisturbed and candid dialogue. One might say, he steamed the anger right out of them.
1975
Helsinki was the site of the Conference on Security and Cooperation in Europe. The serene atmosphere of Finland allowed the world's leaders to argue and insult each other in peace.
1995
Finland joined the European Union and added its own brand of bureaucracy to the jumble that was already there.
2000
Tarja Halonen was chosen as Finland's first female president, although she refused to participate in the Wife Carrying contest. She was the first president to move into the newly built presidential residence which has plenty of room for shoes and handbags.
2000
Helsinki was chosen as one of the Cultural Capitals of Europe, and was possibly the only one who took this title seriously.
2002
The Euro replaced the mark as Finland's currency, and the price of a cup of coffee skyrocketed.
2006
The monster rock group Lordi won the Eurovision song contest. This was Finland's first win, which proves that anything is possible.
2012
Sauli Niinistö became Finland's new president. Even though the president's power has been greatly reduced, he still exerts a lot of influence, by nagging if necessary.
2012
Helsinki was chosen as the World Design Capital, although nobody was sure of what that really meant.
An Economy Story
Thousands of years ago, Finnish business consisted of trading such items as furs, raw timber, dried fish, jewelry, and if they got angry, they traded insults and blows. One of the country's main seasonal products of that time was famine, and the inhabitants were often just in the business of staying alive. Later, trade with the Vikings became lively, because the Vikings knew they could get some good bargains - after all, there was no VAT in those days.
Then the Finns hit on a very profitable enterprise: tar making. This dirty, messy business brought in lots of clean cash because all wooden ships needed tar to keep them in good condition. The British, who had a huge fleet, were eager customers. Later on, other successful products hit the market such as sawn wood and paper as well as iron (very hard currency).
Finland steadily developed its industry during the Swedish, Russian and early independence periods, but like the service in some traditional Finnish restaurants, nobody seemed to be in a hurry. So they developed at a slower pace than the rest of Europe. Even up to the 1950s, the country was mainly an agrarian society with small farms, where, if the owners worked an 80-hour week for 365 days a year, they might be able to afford a few luxury items such as furniture.
Second place is not always bad
Losing World War II and having to pay ridiculous, massive reparations to the Soviet Union on an impossible timetable was actually a good thing for Finland. Though not many people thought so at the time. Finland was required to pay off its debt in goods. The country had to frantically modernize and expand its existing industries, and establish many new ones. They also had to invent new products that their neighbors would be tempted to buy. "How about this new engine design for your spy submarines? It's faster, quieter and more reliable..."
So the government made large investments - fortunately they didn't have much money, so they spent it wisely for a change. Managers insured productivity - by threatening to ban lazy workers from the annual Christmas party bash. And what did the unions do? They went on strike. No, actually they were cooperative and moderate in their demands saying, "We'll go along with this now, but when things get better, we'll strike for twice as long to make up for it," However, it was the Soviets who helped motivate the Finns the most by saying, "How are those reparations coming along? Would you like the Red Army to come over and help out?"
The agreement stipulated that 70% of the goods Finland sent to Soviet Union would comprise metal products such as machinery, ships, locomotives and electric cables. They also sent wood products, textiles, shoes and anything else the Soviets were interested in, which was basically everything. By the time the last payment had been made in 1952, the Soviet Union was addicted to Finnish goods. Now they were ready to pay for them, but not in cash. Finland kept the products flowing east, and the Soviets sent back oil, nuclear power plants, raw materials, friendship statues and borsht. At the same time Finland had built up a lucrative trade with the west.
In the money
The 1970s and 1980s were boom years in Finland. Unemployment was low and salaries were high. It was a time of easy bank loans, and credit was given to almost anyone who asked for it. People got rid of money as fast as they got it, and inflation soared like an eagle.
Then reality hit. The Soviet Union disintegrated at the beginning of the 1990's, which cost Finland 25% of its export market. Combine that with a worldwide economic decline plus poor investments by Finnish companies and banks, and the result was one heck of a recession. At its worst, unemployment was over 20% On the positive side, prices sank sharply.
Surprisingly, there were no riots. The government devaluated the currency (the markka at that time), cut domestic spending and worked with the private sector to limit labor costs. They tried to maintain strong welfare benefits so people could eat, pay their rent and play the slot machines. By the mid-nineties, the gross national product had risen sharply and the stock market was higher than before the recession. Which just shows that Finns enjoy a good challenge. And of course, prices went back up.
During the last years, Finland has been caught up in latest economic downturn. However, tight money, business closures and job losses haven't deterred the Finns. When big companies hit hard times, many entrepreneurs found new market niches and started up new successful companies. Finland has also managed to maintain the top level credit rating during this time. Furthermore, the recession hasn't prevented Finns from participating in a popular hobby: complaining about taxes, politicians, greedy businesspeople, and the weather.
Get your high quality stuff here
Exports were at the forefront of the recovery in the 1990s, and they are extremely important in the present challenging economic climate. Long ago Finland realized that it couldn't compete with developing nations on low cost, mass produced items. So it concentrated on high quality, high value and often high priced products.
Finland has traditionally been strong in the forestry sector. The metals and engineering sector later created the second leg of Finnish exports. More recently, information communications technology became the most important industrial sector along with that very profitable sector, computer games. However, the chemicals industry has experienced significant growth and has become a major player in exports. It seems these companies have profitable chemistry.
Areas in which Finland has had a major international impact are products such as mobile phones, ice breakers, elevators, cranes, papermaking machines, diesel engines, fishing lures, encryption systems, cruise liners, sailing yachts, compasses, medical technology, and environmentally friendly processes and cult films.
Design it
"Design is another Finnish strength," says former president Tarja Halonen. "Not only in consumer goods that often come to mind when people think of design, such as table and glassware, but also in industrial products - in everything from paper machines to medical diagnostic systems." Right you are, Tarja. Finland is at the top of the pile when it comes to design. Artek furniture, Iitala glassware, Arabia ceramics, Merimekko fabrics, Fiskars tools, Kalevala jewelry, and Hackman. Moreover, design is vital for big companies such as Nokia (mobile phones), Kone (elevators), Wärsilä (marine equipment, diesel engines), and STX Finland (shipbuilding) among others.
Often, top Finnish designers claim that they got their ideas from nature, which is commendable. Although sometimes I don't see anything resembling nature in the product, I can't argue with success.
Me: Ah, I love those birch leaves on that fabric.
Designer: Are you blind? Those are swans!
Furthermore, a number of young and upcoming designers are influenced by urban conditions. This could include recycling, sustainable development and the use of local materials. Hopefully this will mean less trash and cleaner cash.
Raising funds
Organizations such as the Finnish National Fund for Research and Development (Sitra), the National Export Credit Agency (Finnvera), the Foundation for Finnish Inventions, the Finnish National Technology Agency (Tekes), and Regional TE centers are all willing to throw their money around to keep Finland competitive and on the cutting edge of technology as well as keep engineers, scientists, designers and businessmen productive, busy and out of bars.
Probably Finland's most notable incentive for the promotion of excellence is the Millennium Technology Prize. It was initiated in Finland because of its conviction to the humane use of technology, or maybe they were just jealous of Sweden's Nobel Prize.
The prize is awarded biannually by the Millennium Foundation, an independent fund established by Finnish industry and the Finnish State. Nominations for the prize are made by academies, universities, research institutes and industrial organizations. Candidates are sought from across the world and all fields of technology.
The Millennium Trophy, “Peak,” was designed by sculptor Helena Hietanen. It symbolizes excellent performance and cutting-edge technology. The reflective apex depicts the tip of a silicon crystal, which is the foundation of modern electronics. Or, you could say it looks like a silver ice-cream cone.
Other signs of Finnish success
They are always at the top of the list of most competitive countries. This they have learned from years of competing for the bartender's attention, and maneuvering to get a good seat in the sauna.
Finland has often been #1 on the list of least corrupt counties. So keep your bribes reasonable.
Around 2000 inventions are patented each year in Finland. Granted, a lot of these are, to put it nicely, unrealistic. But there are a number of big winners such as ABLOY locks, Xylitol Sweetener, Flash Smelting, SMS messaging, and the most significant, the dish drying cabinet.
And finally, Finns are the world's #1 coffee drinkers. Perhaps that's why they look so awake and alert.
Supervising Chemicals
Originally, Finland was determined to host the European Food Safety Authority, but that privilege went to Italy. Instead Finland ended up with ECHA, the European Chemicals Agency, and it seems things have worked out well. ECHA's mission is to “improve the quality of life by ensuring the safe use of chemicals and by fostering innovation.” Their main goal is to implement REACH legislation (Registration, Evaluation, Authorization, and Restrictions of Chemicals) and to establish consistency across the EU. The other challenging goal is to put out information that normal human beings can understand.
In 2007, ECHA set up operations in Helsinki and began work on the challenging, but essential task. The agency is very multinational and has attracted employees from all over Europe. Twice a year ECHA hosts a Stakeholders’ Day in Helsinki in order to disseminate information and exchange ideas among experts and other players in the chemicals industry, and try to prevent them from calling each other names.
Why was Helsinki Chosen as the center of chemicals regulation? As one ECHA director put it, “Everyone knows that Finns are very health and environment-conscience people.” And perhaps, the European authorities thought that Finns are good at handling regulations, too.
Business, Finnish Style
Are Finns good at doing business? According to several world organizations, the international business community and small talk in bars, Finns are astute businesspeople and the country is an economic powerhouse.
Finland is situated between the stable and strong economies of Scandinavia, and the emerging markets of the East. So this ought to be a good place to sell your widgets. Finns are known to be hard workers and honest businesspeople - except during company Christmas party season. They are well educated and highly trained. Moreover, they are eager to buy and sell, and will give you straight forward answers about their products and services - but if you don’t ask, they may not tell you.
Quiet, efficient and too well organized
Foreign businesspeople will find that Finnish hosts are friendly and often fluent in several languages - and sometimes quiet in several languages. You never know with Finns. Once I lived in an apartment where, in two years, I never exchanged a single word with one neighbor. However, my other neighbor talked so much that I was sometimes late for work.
The stereotype is that engineers and technical people are introverts, and the sales and managers are extroverts, but there are exceptions. Anyway, getting back to the subject, Finns are attentive and good listeners.
Finnish businesspeople are generally diligent and meticulous, even though they seem to have a huge amount of holiday time. Finland is not considered a religious country, but Finns still adhere to the protestant work ethic. They like shaking hands, exchanging business cards and swapping dry humor - sometimes Finnish humor is dryer than extra brut Champagne.
They are modest, prompt and expect others to be on time - fashionably late does not go well with Finnish business. Moreover, they don't recognize the value of spontaneity. So rather than just popping in, it’s better to make an appointment in advance. This is a country where everybody carries around a calendar and carefully schedules chats in cafés, time with children and trysts with lovers.
The extraverted class (salespeople, man...